Worst 6 toxic Red Flags to avoid in dating

In dating, we can meet really good and humble people; however, sometimes people have red flags that should be avoided or at least worked on. These are issues you should avoid, but also importantly, don’t have in yourself. Sometimes red flags are minor and can be worked on, but sometimes it’s best to just run. So here are 10 toxic red flags to avoid and work on if possible.

1. Controlling and excessive jealousy

Sometimes jealousy is okay; obviously, we should feel jealous in some cases. However, sometimes jealousy becomes obsessive and toxic, so much that it controls the partner. A partner with excessive jealousy will make your life worse; you will feel unfree and controlled. This makes the relationship feel like a cage that you want to burst out of. Ultimately, this will result in the breakup of the relationship someday or later. But a relationship can’t work with trust and a healthy amount of jealousy.

You can discover these behaviors easily, however hardly in the beginning of the dating. The partner will probably restrict who you can be friends with. In many cases, the partner will not want you to have friends of the other gender, as they see everyone as a danger that could “take away their partner.” For the controller, it might feel like protecting the partner, but it really is not. This will just make the life of the partner uneasy and unhappy. In the worst cases, they don’t want you to talk to anyone who could be a danger to the relationship, severely restricting life for you.

They may as well use other techniques, like wanting you to share your location all the time. While such an arrangement may be good sometimes, it can feel overprotective. This is particularly true when the partner doesn’t feel comfortable being constantly monitored. However, controlling behavior can go way further, like restricting certain activities that you like to do. You have to avoid these behaviors in yourself and avoid people practicing it on you. And don’t date someone that likes to party and then want them to stop partying because you feel insecure about them partying.

2. Inconsistent Communication

The key term for relationships is equal investment and communication. This is critical, even if we sometimes don’t have time or feel like it. Several communication issues can result in a relationship that should be addressed. Otherwise the relationship could end up toxic and fairly uneven.

Often, one person invests way less in the communication than the other, which makes the texting seem dry and boring. This alone is not a problem, but sometimes communication will change from warm to cold. Sometimes stress or life circumstances can result in this; however, that’s not always the case. Sometimes people play with the partner to make them more obsessed or for other reasons.

If they ghost you a lot, often switch between cold and warm energy in the communication, then this is a red flag to avoid. However, you also need to fix these ways in yourself. Try to communicate and to invest emotionally in the relationship. This is a must-have for every relationship. If someone treats you like that, confront them, and if they don’t change, leaving is the only way.

3. Lack of Accountability

Stubbornness is a bad trait; it is mature to accept that you can’t always be right and that you have to improve. However, some people are stuck with their own opinion and will never change it. This will result in frequent fights in the relationship that will strike into the heart of the loving couple. It will slowly break the relationship; both will start to dislike each other more and more.

It’s not only about stubbornness but also about not accepting their mistakes or always blaming others. Yes, it feels bad to be at fault; however, denying it will not be beneficial. People that constantly blame others will not make themselves friends. People, especially those who bear the blame, will always suffer as a result.

Chances are high such a person would deny it when you confront them with their toxic behavior. They will not act on it; they will defend themselves and say, “You are mistaken.” In those cases, you can only avoid them. But also make sure you don’t have traits like this. We are never always right, so have an open heart for other people’s opinions and try to understand them. This will prevent you from forming a toxic relationship.

4. Excessive Criticism

On the other side, you also should not criticize your partner too much at every occasion that you can get. Certainly, they may have overlooked returning the milk to the fridge, but is that truly significant? Will you ruin your relationship over milk? However, this just starts with small nitpicking; it can actually be worse.

Some partners will not just criticize behaviors but make excessive amounts of unnecessary criticism. In example, targeting your looks. If your partner constantly criticizes your attractiveness, this will erode your self-esteem and make you feel bad. Sure, it’s good to tell the partner to lose weight or gain more muscles, but it doesn’t need to be mean. Be kind to your partner always; give healthy criticism of things that actually matter and that they also want to hear.

5. Dishonesty and Secretness

Lies are the downfall of every relationship. They produce conflict, destroy trust, and increase jealousy. And we already talked about what jealousy can do to a relationship. However, in these cases, jealousy is a just reaction. Those who lie don’t consider their partner; it’s a continuous attempt to avoid conflict and problems. It starts with small lies, but the biggest lies are the most dangerous. The truth will always come out, and in that case, the problem will become even bigger.

In the worst case, partners will lie about their actions, which are themselves bad for the relationship. For instance, your partner may pretend to be heading to a friend’s house, but in reality, they could be drinking at a bar or even cheating on you. Those are not always easy to discover, and you should not look actively for it when your partner doesn’t show signs that they lie very often. But when your partner lies often on small occasions, they might as well lie on other parts as well.

However lies are direct untruths, there is also something called “avoiding the truth.” True honesty is not just avoiding lies; it is always telling the truth. Sometimes things just need to be said, even if they are hard to hear. This includes ghosting. Yes, it is acceptable to end a relationship, but it is important to communicate your decision rather than disappearing without explanation. They deserve to understand the reasons behind your choice, so it is advisable to inform them. They have the right to know the reason, so always tell them.

6. Manipulation

Another case is straight manipulation that often comes together with lies. Manipulating people is the worst kind you have to avoid in dating. A relationship with a manipulator will never work out; instead, it will be toxic. It starts with lying, but they will always try to play with your emotions and manipulate you to their benefit. The result won’t be real love; instead, you will be a puppet.

The most classic tactic is gaslighting, where you are manipulated to accept something that is not, in fact, reality. They will deny the reality and make you believe things never happened, even if they did happen. It makes you question your own mind and perception. Also, often manipulators love bomb you. They show very few signs of love, like presents, physical touch, etc. In this phase, you will feel happy. When they noticed you were dependent, they pulled away or changed their behavior completely. Often they use the things they did for you to pressure you into giving them what they want.

A manipulator may also cut you off from friends and family, saying they’re “bad,” even if they’re not. This can be out of jealousy, or they just want to control you more. A manipulator often makes you feel guilty for expressing needs or desires, making you less likely to talk about them. This negatively harms the relationship for you not being able to speak about your needs. However, passive-aggressive behaviors are also seen as manipulative and toxic, like silent treatments or simple but mean ways to display that they are displeased.

Conclusion

Avoid or at least discuss all these common red flags. Remember, not always is a breakup or a rejection needed. No one is perfect, and we all can exhibit one or more red flags. If the person realizes it’s a mistake, they can work on it, and things will be healthier. Doing so is hard work, but in the end, the relationship will have formed a strong bond. In most cases, and especially in dating, however, it would be best to avoid those people.

To do so, you need to notice the red flags in their behavior. Observe your partner and make sure they don’t fall into either of those red flags. Avoid manipulative people, dishonest people, and people who excessively criticize, lack accountability, communicate insistently, exhibit controlling behaviors, or display excessive behaviors. These are the toxic red flags to avoid. Doing so will make sure you don’t end up with a toxic partner and a toxic relationship. However, it’s equally important to ensure that you avoid exhibiting any of these red flags yourself. Changing and improving is the best way for a healthy relationship in those cases.